Exhilaration vs. Trepidation
My insides are a frenzy of warring emotions that exist simultaneously in direct opposition to each other – a veritable hullabaloo of cacophonous sentiments.
To start with, I am super excited to think that in a few short days (11) I will be on my bike on the open road, cycling all day, stealth camping by night, on my grand bike adventure with my bestie.
On the other hand, that means a big, ominous, and important deadline is looming. Before I can, with good conscience, mount my bike and wave my laptop goodbye, I need to have a draft of ol’ Nessie submitted to my supervisors. A goal that instantly strikes up a chorus of panic mixed with nausea as there is so much to be done! This goal had been set before I had uncovered a relatively minor coding error (which, of course, has major implications for my models) and has meant that I have spent every spare moment in the last two weeks frenetically re-running analysis. Le sigh. The glamourous life of a grad student.
So, even though every fibre of my being wants to give over to the unbeatable excitement of planning a trip, where I let my entire self be swept away in a wave of bike-dream euphoria, the mouth-breathing, bone-chilling Nessie is standing right behind me, judging every moment of misdirected “free” time – as each moment spent on nail care, live election coverage, debating the merits of solar vs. dynamo charging, or refreshing my Instagram feed was not spent wrapped up in her sinewy arms.
In the debate between Nessie and the bike, I am at an impasse. In the war between excitement and panic, I think exhaustion triumphs. So I thus yield myself to sleep. Good night all.
Tiny, lovely observations
A few points from outside the mean of daily life; a sparkle that darts out of the standard deviation and dares to make life a tiny bit more beautiful.