I went to a soothing candle-lit yoga class last night. As I lay in final savasana, the teacher read an condensed version of Danielle Laporte’s advice on love:
In this beautiful, lyrical piece, she talks about how you want your heart to be open, open, open, and gentle, gentle, gentle, but you can’t go around bleeding all the time. You have to find a way to protect your soft squishy heart.
Keep your heart open, as wide open as you possibly can. Keep it so soft. Let it be tender. FEEL EVERYTHING. Feel your feelings, share your feelings. Keep your heart gentle, gentle, open, open.
And then… put a big fucking fence around it. Make it tall and make it strong. Ask your angels to guard the gate for you at all times. Do not let anybody past your gate unless their own heart is open and gentle. Only let in people who are respectful, kind, interested and loving. Emphasis on respectful, kind, interested and loving.”
I know I have a open, gentle, kind heart and I assume that those around me do as well. I believe that there is tremendous goodness and kindness in each person, but sometimes people act in ways that are cruel or hurtful. Sometimes people are scared or broken and they are not able to be gentle, respectful, interested, or loving. And that is OK, we all are a little bit broken sometimes, but when I let all people into my big, squishy heart, I get hurt.
That is the risk, right? It is only the people in that are able to wound with great precision. I am not afraid to love and lose (in fact, I am trying to Love my sadness), but I know my heart can’t stay so soft and squishy if it keeps getting cut and I keep bleeding. Because, at some point, my heart will say “ENOUGH!” and start to build scar tissue and callouses. My open, open heart will start to harden.
But that is not OK. I want to live my fullest life, love with every bit of my heart, and have compassion for those who are hurting. So, what do I have to do in order to keep my heart open, open, gentle, gentle?
I think I need to learn to build a fence. I also need to learn to trust my angels at the gate to only allow other open, open, gentle, gentle hearts in. So if you know how to build a fence or to trust your angels, show me the way to protect my heart so I can love infinitely.