I went to a soothing candle-lit yoga class last night. As I lay in final savasana, the teacher read an condensed version of Danielle Laporte’s advice on love:
In this beautiful, lyrical piece, she talks about how you want your heart to be open, open, open, and gentle, gentle, gentle, but you can’t go around bleeding all the time. You have to find a way to protect your soft squishy heart.
Keep your heart open, as wide open as you possibly can. Keep it so soft. Let it be tender. FEEL EVERYTHING. Feel your feelings, share your feelings. Keep your heart gentle, gentle, open, open.
And then… put a big fucking fence around it. Make it tall and make it strong. Ask your angels to guard the gate for you at all times. Do not let anybody past your gate unless their own heart is open and gentle. Only let in people who are respectful, kind, interested and loving. Emphasis on respectful, kind, interested and loving.”
I know I have a open, gentle, kind heart and I assume that those around me do as well. I believe that there is tremendous goodness and kindness in each person, but sometimes people act in ways that are cruel or hurtful. Sometimes people are scared or broken and they are not able to be gentle, respectful, interested, or loving. And that is OK, we all are a little bit broken sometimes, but when I let all people into my big, squishy heart, I get hurt.
That is the risk, right? It is only the people in that are able to wound with great precision. I am not afraid to love and lose (in fact, I am trying to Love my sadness), but I know my heart can’t stay so soft and squishy if it keeps getting cut and I keep bleeding. Because, at some point, my heart will say “ENOUGH!” and start to build scar tissue and callouses. My open, open heart will start to harden.
But that is not OK. I want to live my fullest life, love with every bit of my heart, and have compassion for those who are hurting. So, what do I have to do in order to keep my heart open, open, gentle, gentle?
I think I need to learn to build a fence. I also need to learn to trust my angels at the gate to only allow other open, open, gentle, gentle hearts in. So if you know how to build a fence or to trust your angels, show me the way to protect my heart so I can love infinitely.
xox
Lovely Outliers 
Personally, the image of a force field serves me more effectively than a fence. Working on building mine using heart energy.
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I really like that image. Thanks for the thought!
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You’re welcome. I’m mobile this week, but will try to find the source column once I’m home.
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Oh my dear. I was having (just literally at this very moment) a conversation with my mom (who creepily googled herself and then somehow stumbled across your blog) and we spoke about what an awesome person you are.
This blog post resinated with me, but for the exact opposite reason. I have that fence firmly and strongly in place, but I have forgotten how to be an open hearted gentle person. I have it too well guarded and it makes me afraid to allow anyone else in. I face the challenge of allowing a gate to be built in this heart of mine. I’m not sure how you go about doing that either? Maybe we can teach each other our skills?
I think you are equipped to do what you are setting out to do. You have the skills, and you are asking the necessary questions. You are figuring it out.
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That is really sweet. I am always flattered to be internet creeped. It is the sincerest form of flattery!
I think that is a brilliant plan. In order to allow a gate to be built, you need to spend some time thinking about the instructions you give the angels you pick to guard it. What are the things to look for and qualities you need in a person to allow someone in? You know the answer already, because you have a bevy of wonderful friends, so maybe a first step would be to recognize the “good people traits” that you want to surround yourself with, and give your angels the list.
I think the two of us can find our way (even if we are the sort of people to show up in airports without phone chargers or contact cases). Hope you have a safe journey to your UK home!!
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