I have been having a pretty tough week, or perhaps more accurately, a rather difficult month.
By the time I got home from work yesterday I was totally wiped out. Yesterday included a series of frustrating moments at work and also the lack of movement on many other things that are rather important to my life in the next month:
- I still had not heard about the apartment I applied for (and so desperately want);
- I had already been contacted by 2 scammers about my car which I have just listed for sale; and
- I have not yet received any comments on my thesis draft from my supervisors (yes, I know it has only been a couple of days, but it is hard to be patient…)
To top it off, I got soaked from head to toe while walking to the train. This is precisely how I felt:
However, after a bath and a good night’s sleep, I have been trying to get perspective. Over the past couple of months, I have actively been trying to re-wire my negativity bias in order to notice and acknowledge the good things in my life. This is exceptionally hard when you feel like so many things are in limbo, but today, I have been watching for the teensy-tinyest wins. And so far, I have had some tiny bursts of light:
- The Presto card tap was not working on the bus this morning, so I got a free ride!
- There is no one else in my favourite room in the library, so I am able to play my tunes and sway gently, hoping that tomorrow will be kinder (a soothing and lovely 8tracks mix I discovered via Sweet Madeleine).
- I started reading Good Things I Wish You, which has been a surprising delight. I picked it up as a “bargain book” (that I swiftly forgot about until packing up my books), and it has been just the ticket – a light read with just enough poetry, heartbreak, and resolve to resonate into my heart. It weaves the story of Clara Schumann (& her hubby Robert and friend (+) Brahms) with a more contemporary tale. While it will likely won’t win any great literary awards, it gives my brain a tiny bit of peace.
Hope you have a win today too, even something as small as a perfect cup of coffee. Because maybe on balance, these tiny little good things can start to weigh out the bad, and maybe tomorrow will be kinder and everything will be OK.